No. But here we are. I am indulging myself because I am good at eating, and I like to eat. I could start a fake blog about the person I want to be or wish I were. It would be the version of me living in a parallel universe, a me who juices in the morning bales of kale and spinach, goes to sunrise yoga, and trains for and enters Ironman competitions. I mean, I admire this ideal me. She is all zen and pristine and physically powerful. She owns white linen tunics and Mayan silver cuffs and, unlike me, has a great tan. I also especially admire weightlifting me, who gets in all her protein macros and doesn’t miss leg day. This me is very motivational. She always says fun, positive quotes she’s collected on Instagram, the place to collect such things. Who doesn’t like positive and motivating people who look great and make it look effortless? “It’s a lifestyle,” she says.
She’s great.
And so not me. Not in this dimension, anyway. At least not for now.
I realize as my 54th birthday approaches that the guy who played Booger in Revenge of the Nerds was right when he was in Risky Business, and Booger in Risky Business said, “Sometimes you just have to say, what the f*ck?” He explains, “Saying what the f*ck gives you freedom and freedom brings opportunity.” So WTF. Eat the cake, or don’t eat the cake. It doesn’t matter. It’s not about the cake. It’s about the freedom. When you are all blocked up in a frame of who you are not, you forget who you are. Having the freedom to take a big bite out of life and discover who you are is the point. It’s the reason for the journey. So, I’m going to show up to write. Let’s see where this ride takes us.
